i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
