Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
