I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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