i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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