Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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