Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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