Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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