oh god the rape fog is back!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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