i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
