Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
