You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
