He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize