Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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