She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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