my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
