He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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