so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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