It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
