ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
