my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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