shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
