I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
