If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
What a dumb baby whore.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
