I cannot find my penis.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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