i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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