..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
