She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
