Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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