Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize