Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
