Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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