Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
