I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize