I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
