their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm passing your future prison.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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