I don't usually arrange sex via text message
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
