where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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