Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
