Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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