Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
