i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
