So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
