you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
