Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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