i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
