I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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