i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
