I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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