Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
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Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
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My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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