You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
