I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
