I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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