You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
