He asked me if I "almost moaned"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
