i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
