I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
