she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
