Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
