do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think people are normalizing furries
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
