Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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