Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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