the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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