Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
