Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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