you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
