You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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