alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
