I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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