Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
