just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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