My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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