Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize