About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
