we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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